Death or Public Speaking?
Perhaps it's a myth, but it's a fairly widely known one - that when surveys of people's biggest fears are taken, public speaking often ranks more highly than death. Personally, I think that's a little extreme. I can safely say that, having listened to hundreds of speeches over the years at the College, and have never seen so much as a sprained finger - let alone a fatality!
But yes, for many of our students - and many of our wider community - speaking publicly comes with a degree of stress and fear. And it is public speaking season in the English Department at the moment. Our Year 11 and 12 Students are working on, or have completed, their oral presentations. Our Year 9s have recently completed their prepared reading, our Year Two IB students have their Individual Oral Presentations - 10 minutes of material on two texts, followed by five minutes of questions - and the other year groups will start on theirs soon enough.
Some boys love it. They shine. Our prepared reading and public speaking competitions are always a joy. The Year 13 Valedictorian Speech Evening is a highlight of my year. Many don't love it ... and some loathe it. But ... in my experience our boys always feel better and grow further from facing a challenge than from hiding from one.
And you can help. I think there are two key things that can help alleviate pressure. Firstly, preparedness. The more you speak, the more comfortable you become speaking. If you know your son/charge has a speech coming up, ask him to perform it to you. And ... even if it's a bit ropey - please be positive and encouraging. Use the Losardo ratio - 7 pieces of positive feedback to 1 criticism. It's also an easy thing for Border Parents to do over zoom!
Secondly, the myth of confidence. Boys don't need to be confident when speaking publicly. They can be stressed and nervous - that's natural. Dampening the pressure they put on themselves matters - they just need to appear reasonably confident - and attending to stance, pace, variety and eye contact will achieve that.
On a personal note, one of my own children was very nervous when speaking publicly in Year 9. But they enjoyed drama. Helping them understand that they don't need to be themself - that they could play the role of a confident, charismatic speaker for 3 minutes turned this around. That might be worth a try for you too.
So ... death or public speaking? It's not even a contest. Stick to rational fears, Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, for example - the fear of long words.
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